The Infinite Dial

Judging an industry award is, at best, a labor of love -- emphasis on the word labor. You find yourself slogging through a lot of mediocre material. You deal with an overwhelming amount of politics for something that was supposed to be a fun add-on to your real job. And, without intending to diminish the actual winners here, you certainly never feel that you have such an embarassment of riches that you could fill each category several times over.

I was a judge in the radio station category of the RAB's Radio Mercury Awards for several years in the early '00s when I was editor of Billboard's Airplay Monitor. Typically, the judging was a morning's work. Over the course of that morning, I would hear a lot of very cliched work -- nobody should ever be allowed to do a game show parody again, although Netflix can be grandfathered. I would encounter at least a spot or two that was so offensively stereotypical I was surprised it hadn't been protested off the air. Then there were those spots that were agency quality work in terms of polish, but not otherwise remarkable.

That said, I never felt the pickings were so slim that nothing should win -- the decision made by the Radio Mercury Awards judges this year. I do, however, agree with Eric Rhoads that the best local spots are not necessarily being submitted; even seven or eight years ago that was the case. A lot of radio's production directors are too busy grinding out work for four stations these days to solicit national attention, for one thing.

At a time when nothing in radio feels like it's getting better, production at the local level has held its own. For one thing, the national spots have gotten worse, just because so much of the business is now for patent medicines and other sponsors of dubious repute. And, for better or worse, the screaming car dealership spots are in shorter supply. Admittedly, I hear New York and Philly radio. But I also hear Allentown, Pa., Monmouth/Ocean, N.J., and Trenton, N.J. And I hear a lot less of this type of spot these days:

First Wooden Sounding DJ: Gee, I wonder why Sally won't go out with me?

Second Wooden Sounding DJ: Maybe it's because you use the wrong caulking supplies?

First Wooden Sounding DJ: Really? Caulking?

Second Wooden Sounding DJ: You'd be surprised how much difference it makes. The folks at Robinson's U-Caulk, 2155 Industrial Highway, can help with caulking, weather-stripping and so much more. Sally will definitely go out with you once your windows look better and are more energy efficient.

Wooden Sounding Traffic Manager: Hey, Steve! Nice windows!

First Wooden Sounding DJ: Thanks, Sally! Say, would you ...?

Wooden Sounding Traffic Manager: You bet!

First Wooden Sounding DJ, (doing his own tag because there's obviously nobody else left to drag into the production room): Robinson's U-Caulk, 2155 Industrial Highway, or call 278-253-CAULK ... that's 278-253-CAULK.